Week 3 Menopause Blog - 'My roadmap to understanding my own menopause journey'

In our third blog for Menopause Awareness Month 2022, one staff member has kindly shared her story about figuring out that she was going through the menopause. Read her words below:

 

How to recognise when the perimenopause starts and what to do

 

'Anxiety. Imposter Syndrome. Self-doubt. These feelings were perhaps not where I might have expected a menopause journey to begin. When I thought about writing this blog I didn't know where to begin, so I'll start with where I am now.

 

As I came to write this, I'd just received an email from my menopause yoga teacher, who in turn started her journey to this more specialist practice since watching the now-renowned Davina McCall documentaries highlighting the menopause experience. In it, she shares some thoughts on how we know when we've entered the perimenopause. Anxiety, tiredness, increased headaches and migraines, unexplained aches, and pains? These words prompted me to think back to four years ago, aged 43 (too young for menopause? I certainly didn't have it on my radar at that time) when I was experiencing all these feelings. I also didn't (and never have) experienced the expected hot flushes, the “true” indicator of menopause. At the time, I put these feelings down to stressful times: moving house, finding suitable schooling for a child with additional needs, supporting a husband with acquired impairments, feeling frustrated with work. The pandemic hit shortly after this, to add in feelings of 'keep calm and carry on', loneliness and isolation, and of feeling trapped. Over two years, I read books on OCD and anxiety, happiness and joy in the 'ordinary' {link: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/45415787-the-unexpected-joy-of-the-ordinary}, attended webinars on Imposter Syndrome, and sought the support of a coach through People and Organisational Development {link to: https://staff.hud.ac.uk/hr/staffdevelopment/coaching-and-mentoring/}, all to find out what was “wrong”.

 

At some point along the journey, during lock-down, I came across the University Menopause Support Group and a guest talk from Henpicked {link: https://henpicked.net/}. During these sessions, and from hearing others' experiences I started a record of potential symptoms to see if there was any pattern to the feelings I had, as I had suspicions they were linked to my cycle. (Note: I recommend the Balance app {link https://www.balance-menopause.com/balance-app/}, which I came to much later by recommendation). Armed with that, a call to my Nurse Practitioner (I later found out she is the local advocate for menopause support, so I do feel I avoided a battle at that point) resulted in understanding, a prescription, and a certain amount of relief.

 

Fast-forward to now, and I have uncovered a personal approach and a supporting community that is invaluable. Recently my doctor said to me “this can last 10 years”, and that resonated. This isn't something to battle through on your own. So, I took what I felt were “brave steps”. I tried various yoga classes, menopause-specific and not, I tried a women's circle {https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/womens-circle}, which for me has been the surprising hit and a mainstay now. A balance of the right hormone treatment, dietary and lifestyle changes, and the unique support of other women who come together at points where we can all be honest and not have to hold it together. It's empowering and I'm so glad to have found it.

I still have wobbles and bad weeks (meno-rage is real), but I also have good ones. I've had better conversations with my husband, my teenaged daughter, and my workplace as a result. I'm a better team member, leader, partner, friend and mother. There are still battles, but I feel I have the tools and support to take them on. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I'd known all this four years ago but for menopause awareness month the least I can do is share my journey and, if I can help just one other person, it'll be worth it.'