Bi+ Awareness Week and Bi+ Visibility Day

Bi+ Awareness Week and Bi+ Visibility Day

Bi+ Awareness Week runs from 16^th September to 23^rd September, which is Bi+ Visibility Day. The celebration promotes cultural acceptance of the bisexual community, as well as creating a platform to raise awareness and advocate for Bi+ rights. To mark Bi Visibility Day, the Bi Pride flag will be flown outside St Paul’s Hall.

Bi+ is used as a catchall umbrella term for different identities that involve romantic and/or sexual attraction to one or more genders. Bi+ people may describe themselves using one or more of a wide variety of terms, including, but not limited to, bi, bisexual, pan, polysexual and/or queer. There are a range of terms under the umbrella, and no ‘right’ way to be bi!  Bi people can be trans, including non-binary. Bi people can be cis. Bi people can be ace.

How can I be a Bisexual ally?

• Avoid making assumptions. Many people assume someone’s sexual orientation based on their partner’s gender. A bisexual person is still bisexual, regardless of who their current or past partner(s) and experiences. Respect all of their relationships equally.
• Challenge Biphobia and Bi+ erasure. Bi+ people have to deal with many negative myths and stereotypes about their sexuality. They are seen as greedy or promiscuous; untrustworthy or less likely to be faithful in a relationship; confused or indecisive. Many see bisexuality as "just a phase" that people go through or see it as something people to do to seem cool or trendy. Bi+ people are told they are "actually straight" or "really just gay" and asked to pick a side. This is known as Bi erasure. It is important to educate ourselves and unlearn these views and stereotypes as well as calling out Biphobic comments and behaviour.
• Educate yourself. Read, watch, and listen to people. Actively listening to lived experiences is one way you can step up as an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community. Visibility can break down barriers, challenge misconceptions and provide inspiration to others.

Staff and students from the University share their thoughts and experiences this Bi+ Awareness Week:

Why do you think it’s important to have LGBTQ+ role models?

Charlie: I think it’s important to have LGBTQ+ role models within the University as it helps educate and is important to both students and staff to have LGBTQ+ individuals within the University which they may feel like they can approach or relate to.

LGBTQ+ representation wasn’t there for me growing up, and I knew from my early teens that I was anything but ‘straight’ but didn’t know exactly what it may be, as the education around the LGBTQ+ community was not there, and I didn’t get that opportunity to understand my sexuality further than ‘gay’ or ‘straight’, which I knew I was neither. I never had that “Yes! That’s me!” moment watching people on TV shows or films, or anything in the media or any other big consumerism outlet. I knew that I was somehow part of the LGBTQ+ community yet was never sure on exactly where to sit myself within one of the acronym letters. It’s only been in recent years that I’ve been more vocal about the fact that I’m part of the community, as I found it difficult for a very long time to get out of the box I was labelled in, when nearly everyone I met mis-labelled me as being heterosexual and reacted adversely when I tried correcting them. I don’t want others to have that sort of experience too.

I grew up in an era (that is still currently quite common practice) where you MUST “come out” as you’re just assumed that you’re heterosexual and cis-gendered unless expressed otherwise. Having LGBTQ+ representation not only makes those who may silently be part of the LGBTQ+ community feel seen and help them understand themselves better, but it also brings an understanding and educational aspect to everyone else too, to try and curb the assumption that everyone is heterosexual unless stated otherwise.

Helen: As a minority it is important to be visible for those that may want to question, explore or validate their identities.  Not everyone is comfortable being ‘out’, but if they know someone that is, it gives them an ally.  It isn’t about labelling people, it’s about allowing people to be themselves, however that presents itself.  There are many unsafe places in this world but Huddersfield university isn’t one of them.

Rosie: I think it is important to have queer role models prominent in society so that people are able to see themselves represented and make the possibility of being their true selves a lot less daunting. I love seeing queer people succeeding as well as it shows what we as people and as a community can achieve despite our queerness and can encourage others to achieve their goals while being open about their sexuality/gender

How easy is it to be open about your identity whilst working/studying at the University of Huddersfield?

Helen: Very! In my introduction to my students when first meeting them, I include a picture of my family – my wife and 2 children via adoption.  It’s important to me to be open and honest with my students on both subjects and my background as a sexual health nurse helps I think.  I have been ‘out’ since starting at the university and had nothing but support from my colleagues and students alike.

Rosie: As a person who has grown up having their gender and sexuality constantly questioned due to my appearance, I find it easy to open up and find that by being so open about it- especially during lectures – it allows some of my older classmates to ask questions they may usually feel uncomfortable asking a queer person. but I usually think that as a queer person, although it isn’t my job to educate every Tom, Dick and Harry about the LGBTQ+ community I find that people are usually open and enthusiastic to ask questions when given the opportunity to do so in a safe environment for both my classmates and me!

How does your identity relate to your work?

Helen: In nursing, you meet every type of person and need to be non-judgemental and approachable.  If I can mirror that in my teaching job I hope I am being a role model to others.  I am used to having ‘awkward’ conversations about very personal subjects and think that acceptance of people and their behaviour / personal choices / desires helps them to be honest and share their concerns with me.

How do you think being part of the LGBTQ+ community relates to other parts of your identity?

Rosie: I definitely think that being part of this community has opened me up to plenty of opportunities both in education and in life. I feel that my connection to this community allows me to better connect with others and only helps to add to my knowledge and my sense of humour.

Helen: Being bisexual comes with assumptions and some negativity from certain groups sometimes.  Being part of the LGBTQ+ staff network gives me support and acceptance.  Being a sexual health nurse, a mother, a bisexual woman, a Christian, an adopter have all given me different perspectives and experiences with acceptance being the overall theme.  We are all human.  We all want to be loved.  Kisses aren’t contracts.

Charlie: Since being more open about the fact that I am part of the LGBTQ+ community, it’s been amazing to see and receive the support and the allyship from so many people. Going to Pride festivals, watching drag queen/king shows, and all-round actively being part of the LGBTQ+ community is the closest I’ve gotten to my “Yes! That’s me!” moment.

However, that’s a hard question to answer – whilst I do enjoy and relate to the things which are more widely known as being within the LGBTQ+ community, I don’t think I entirely believe in my sexuality being an identifying factor to my identity. What my sexuality is has always been vague and ever-changing within the LGBTQ+ spectrum, so knowing how it relates to my identity is hard to gage. My sexuality is such an integrated part of my being that I only really see it as being what makes me, me. My interests and what I consider as integral parts of my identity could relate to being a part of the LGBTQ+ community without me realising it. 

What advice would you give to other LGBTQ+ staff/students who may be facing challenges as a result of their sexuality or gender identity?

Charlie: Understanding your sexuality and/or gender identity, when you think it differs from our cis-hetero-normative society, can be hard and terrifying. If someone within this workplace is facing challenges from it, then please know that you are not alone in facing those issues and there are ways to make those challenges feel less problematic, or even make those challenges disappear. Talk to someone about it: someone you trust, or your line manager if you can, or to our EDI Officer at the University – or even me! I’m always happy to listen and try help. There are some fantastic charities out there which can help you too, I recommend Mind Out.

Please remember that being LGBTQ+ has started to become a bit more normalised and more accepted within general society, and just because you are within the community does not mean that that is all you are. You may be a baker, a football enthusiast, an engineer – I’m not just known “Bi Charlie”, and neither will you.

Also, there’s an LGBTQ+ staff network group. Join us! Meetings and social events are held, we will all love to hear what you have to say.

Rosie: If these challenges are external try your hardest to report them if they are serious and take good care of yourself, although we may have come a long way there will unfortunately always be people unwilling to accept us in our rawest form, even though you are valid, seen and worthy of acceptance. If the struggle is with identifying feelings or a label, then take your time – it took me 19 years to fully uncover and explore my queer identity. If labelling is your struggle, then chuck that worry out the window, take time to explore yourself and have fun don’t ever feel that you HAVE to label yourself, that has only become the standard because it makes people more comfortable if you fit in a box or binary, but we as people are much more so take solace in knowing that sexuality and gender are fluid and GO WITH THE FLOW! :)

Helen: Find an ally, such as the LGBTQ+ staff network or email me.  Don’t rush things or give yourself a label.  You have to work things out for yourself, at your own pace with people you trust.  Stay safe and don’t tolerant discrimination in any form.

What can allies do in the workplace? 

Helen: Be visible and open to others.

Rosie: Allies have the wonderful opportunity to support their LGBTQ+ friends in the fight for acceptance and get to experience the magical things that come along with us queer folk. The best advice I can give is ALWAYS be respectful, even if you don’t fully understand it yet, even if you may believe that it could be a phase they came to you as a trusted person and this may be a scary experience for them and because sexuality and gender are fluid things may change over time. As an ally I think it is important to know that even if a person changes their label or chooses not to adopt one this does not make their sexuality, pronouns and gender identity any less valid so the #1 tip I can give for allies is always respect and listen <3

Charlie: Speak up. If you see any sort of discrimination within the workplace, do not fall silent.

Educate yourself. There is no such thing as it being ‘too late’ to learn! Small things like understanding how to treat things like respecting pronouns, knowing what questions are appropriate or inappropriate, etc.

Equality/Equity. Sexuality and gender do not change the way someone should be treated, inside and outside the workplace.

What led you to share your story?

Charlie: The biggest reason I wanted to share my story was to help normalise sexuality as being a spectrum and not as just a 50/50 split, or only ‘one or the other’. I want to be part of educating others about what the LGBTQ+ community is, and why sexual identity matters but is not our sole identification and should not separate us from the rest of society.

Helen: Lauren asked!  Seriously, people presume I am straight when they meet me, then gay when they know I have a wife yet I am bisexual and it’s important people know that.

Rosie: I feel a very strong connection to this community and will always want to support the spread of positivity and help to inform those that wish to gain knowledge on our community I think that for people to be able to normalise the fact that we exist we need to keep showing them we are here living happily among them and show them that we are worthy of acceptance, love and moist of all equality!

Do you have anything else you want to share?

Rosie: LGBTQ+ and LGBTQ+ POC’s lives matter, have always mattered and will always matter! WE EXIST <3

Thank you to Charlie, Helen and Rosie for sharing their stories and helping us learn more about Bi+ Visibility!

Bi+ Visibility: What the B means to me

Lauren Minto she/her

As a feminine presenting Bisexual woman, I have always found expressing my sexuality difficult. I came out around 2 years ago when I entered my first same sex relationship. I was instantly accused of being confused. I had dated men all my life, and now at 21 years old I ‘suddenly’ liked women? It did not make sense to my family, and some felt hurt at the realisation that they had ‘never really known me’. When in reality, living in the heteronormative society that we do, I had just never really considered what I was genuinely attracted to.

Heteronormativity is the embedded belief that heterosexual relationships are the only norm for sexuality. We are all assumed ‘straight’ from birth, enforcing the need for LGBTQIA+ people to ‘come out’ as courageous, different, or deviant, depending on how you view the community. The added layer for Bisexual individuals is that we are challenging another set of binaries. Not only are we not straight, but we aren’t ‘fully gay’ either. More often than not, people assume that I am heterosexual, but when I am with my girlfriend I am seen as a Lesbian. This is just one example of bisexual erasure, which exists both within and outside of the LGBTQIA+ community.

I have even found myself guilty of bi erasure. Since being in a queer relationship I often refer to myself as ‘gay’ just because it’s easier, when I know this is just a reflection of the lack of representation and space I see in the queer community and wider society. Society pushes people to fit into binary categories because it is sometimes just safer and easier. That is why it is important that we understand and recognise the difference between identity and relationships. We cannot assume that just because someone is in a relationship with a person of the same sex that they are gay, in the same way that we cannot assume a person in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex is straight. We are bigger than that. Being bisexual does not mean that I am 50% attracted to men and 50% attracted to women. Sexuality is a spectrum in which we all sit on.

In this video, Liberal Democrat MP Layla Moran explains what Pansexuality (which comes under the Bi+ umbrella) means to her and I think her explanation is so important. When I watched it, I felt really seen. However, unlike Layla, I prefer to use the term Bisexual over Pansexual. This is due to a few reasons:

• It is a more widely recognised term and was easier to explain when I first came out.
• The term has historically been interpreted as the attraction to two genders, male and female. Pansexual has been labelled the more inclusive term as it expresses attraction to people regardless of gender identity, therefore encompassing trans and non-binary identities. However, While the prefix “bi” may literally mean two, bisexuality does not mean attraction to only two genders. For myself and many bisexual people, the “bi” indicates an attraction to their same gender as well as other genders, inclusive of trans and non-binary identities.
• I claim it for political reasons. Bisexuality has always been associated with promiscuity, greediness, or a precursor to coming out as gay. This is simply not the case. Although, I am definitely greedy, but only when it comes to food (you should see me get through a whole share bag of crisps).

Therefore, I will continue to reclaim the term Bisexual, as a way of dispelling myths and ignorant beliefs. I am very proud to call myself Bisexual. Happy Bi+ Visibility Week to all my fellow ‘Bicons!

LGBTQI+ Staff Network

The University of Huddersfield’s Lesbian, Gay, Bi+, Trans*, Queer and Intersex + (LGBTQI+) Staff Network was set up in April 2018. To find out more about this network including future meeting dates, please email lgbt@hud.ac.uk or please feel free to contact Carson McCombe (Chair).